If you follow me on social media you may have seen me posting and sharing often about my newest manicure. I’m a DIYer, I order cheap false nails online and do them at home with the products I already have. It takes me 5 minutes, costs me less than $5 and they last me a week or more.
How vain do I sound right? I mean I have a partner who loves me even if I have short, un-manicured nails. How fake of me to pretend to have something I don’t which is long, pretty, manicured nails.
You see this obsession isn’t based entirely on vanity. It’s part of my self help regime. Something I do to both boost my self esteem a little and also deter myself from doing something I’m ashamed I do despite it not being my fault.
I have mild Excoriation Disorder also known as skin picking. When I’m having a hard day, anxiety is high, I’m feeling hopeless, I subconsciously find an area of skin, like dry skin or a blemish and start scratching at it. I do this while my mind worries and spins. I don’t even realize I’m doing it until the area either starts to burn or bleed. I’ve got scars on both arms from doing this for years and not even for once thinking it was a problem.
The worst part is I lied to people. I was so ashamed I would wear long sleeves and forget about the scars for a while until I lifted my sleeves because I became warm and someone points out “what happened to your arms? Did you burn yourself?” I’d tell them it was just a bug bite or allergic reaction. I didn’t want anyone knowing what kind of a gross, disgusting freak I was.
Turns out I’m not a freak. I have GAD. Excoriation is caused by induced excess anxiety and stress. It’s one of the symptoms like heart palpitations or Headaches from increased overthinking. A physical manifestation of a mental disorder.
So back to the fake nails, they deter me from scratching at myself. I don’t get the same sensation from satisfying an itch with fake nails compared to real nails. They also can’t really break the skin or cause as much damage as real nails can.
There you have it; my gorgeous fake nails serve two purposes and now you know what they are. At least it’s a really good excuse to be able to change up my nail game often!
Make sure to be following me on Instagram to see my latest manicure!
Do you wear fake nails for any other reason than fashion? Let me know in the comments! Would be great to chat!